Too ashamed to pray? A simple framework to help you get started.

Young African American woman looking up to God

We were never meant to know shame... Unfortunately, Eve's choice in the garden changed that, but what if we’re too ashamed to pray? Perfectionism, worthiness, enoughness can all creep in a steal us away from the one who can help us with all of it.

It's a tactic of the enemy for sure.

Thankfully, we serve a God who died for all of that. You are enough just as you are right now because He died to make it so. Shame off you.

Just as you would never ask your child to have everything perfected before they come to you for help, God doesn't expect that from you (his child) either! He wants to help you! Let your prayer be simple, real, and raw. He can handle it.

If you are struggling in your prayer life, follow this simple framework;

African American woman in a red dress with her eyes closed and hands folded in prayer
  1. Praise God for who He is: He is the only uncreated being, all knowing, and all powerful. No one is greater or more loving, more kind, or more worthy. When we focus on who God is first, we are honoring His holiness. Positioning our mind on the character of God, and ourselves as his dependent children, safely in His powerful care. God loves you as you are right now. He doesn’t ask you to come to him when all is perfect. He wants to transform your heart, and the only way He can do it, is if you invite him in.

  2. Give thanks for all He has already done: Think back over your life, paying special attention to the times you could see God at work. What were the circumstances? Could you have gotten through without God’s help? Why is this significant?

    As humans, it’s really easy for us to forget, so it’s important to have things set up to remind us. When we structure our prayer to include gratitude for what He’s already done, it’s a built in reminder that helps build belief that He can do it again.

  3. Ask Him to guide you in your next best step: When you invited Christ into your life, you were gifted the Holy Spirit. Your own personal guide and helper! It can be SO easy to look around to what everyone else is doing to try and mimic or come up with good ideas. We also have access to endless information online these days, and honestly, we have too many choices. It can all be overwhelming. Instead of going online or looking to people around you, go straight to the source. The one who created you, and gifted you will give you direction. While He may not tell you everything up front, He will present the next best step. It might take a little time to learn how to discern His leading from your own desires, and the best way to start is to ‘look at the fruit’.

    Galations 5: 16-23 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

    19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife,jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy,drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things — as I warned you before — that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.

You can know that you are walking with the spirit when the fruit is good.

The truth is, we all have a past. We all have things in our lives that we feel embarrassed or shameful about, but God already knows, and He’s already forgiven you. Don’t make the road to healing more difficult and lonely by cutting Him out.

Remember, you can't really mess this up. God just wants you to talk to him. He hears you.

*If you found this helpful, be sure to share with friends!

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