Permission to say no to extracurriculars.

A 6 year old girl with her arm around her 10 year old brother. Both looking straight at the camera, smiling, and wearing backpacks for school

I had a mom ask me yesterday if I have my kids in extracurriculars. I could tell that she was waiting to hear "yes, of course!" but really hoping I'd say "no". She needed permission to say no to extracurricular activities during the school year.

Her oldest is in my youngest's class, so she knew that I was a little bit ahead in the journey. When I told her that we work really hard to protect our family time and typically only do them in the summer or if they're a part of the school day, her shoulders lowered, and she let out a sigh of relief. She said "we tried soccer this fall, and I just don't know how families do it."

We decided when our oldest was just beginning school that we were going to say no to most extracurricular activities. We were watching so many family's run from school pick up, to a sport or club, and then not get home until 6pm, eat dinner, do homework, and get to bed in order to do it all again the next day.

ZERO judgement if this is how your family chooses to live, but it just wasn't for us.

We wanted to give our kids time to unwind after a long school day, to be creative, read, or just play. We wanted to have warm meals around the table together as often as possible, and most of all, we didn't want to rush their childhood.

The truth is, they will have plenty of opportunities in their lives to try different sports and activities (especially since we do have space for it during summer break). It doesn't all have to happen right now. They won't miss out, I promise.

Our time at home with young kids is finite. We don't get it back. Neither do they.

If you need a permission slip to say "no thank you", here it is. You get to design your family life. Have the courage to buck the system around you, and say no to the things that do not bring you peace.

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