Millennial Mid-Life Crisis: How to find a path forward.
I recently came across a study from the National Institute on Aging that said Millennials are experiencing the “mid-life crisis” 5-10 years earlier than past generations. What was once associated with people in their mid-40’s to mid-50’s, is now hitting those in their 30’s.
This means, Millennials are experiencing life dissatisfaction, restlessness, a desire to change careers, and for many in the Christian community, a strong desire to deconstruct their faith, all about a decade earlier than their parents.
First, let’s look at what a mid-life crisis actually is;
Life transition from “young” to “old” - many try to reclaim their youth
Asking existential questions like, “Why am I here?” “What’s my purpose"?”
Realizing just how quickly time passes, and feeling like life is passing you by…
Feeling a strong desire to make drastic life changes
Due to constant global crises, an overabundance of information at our fingertips, and endless choices, it’s no wonder we’re feeling overwhelmed and questioning what’s really important. The pandemic alone was a shocking wake up call for most of the world. Since everything came to a screeching halt, we were all forced to face our inner world.
For me personally, this was when I realized that I desperately needed to heal my childhood trauma. I think many others had the same realization, and that’s why we see so many talking about all things trauma, therapy, and healing generational pain. We finally had the time to deal with it. As hard as it is, it’s also an honor to do the work that generations before couldn’t do, so that generations after don’t have to. They’re going to have enough struggles of their own in this ever evolving world.
So…now what?
As a life coach for Millennials, I think it’s really important that we focus on a way forward. Perhaps it’s better to look at this phase of life as a time to re-evaluate, do a little personal investigation, and decide on next steps. Your life is not over. It’s not “all downhill from here”, and you are not stuck. You actually have the ability to take 100% responsibility, and responsibilty breeds empowerment. You ready?
Step 1: Conduct a life audit
A life audit is simply looking at each area of life (health, faith, work, family, marriage, etc.), and evaluating how you actually feel about it. Why do you feel this way? What needs improvement? Do you need to implement boundaries? What is most important to you long-term?
Step 2: De-clutter
I’m not just talking about all the stuff you own. What in your life needs to go? Are you overbooked? Are the kids in too many activities? Are you committed to something that drains your energy, or produces fruit of bitterness and resentment? Pruning may be painful, but it’s important.
Step 3: Brainstorm
This is the step where you get to dream! If there were no obstacles, what would you do every day? Get SUPER specific. What would you eat? How would you move your body? Who would you spend your time with? If you could get paid to do ____ what would it be? Imagine your ideal self-what is she like? What would you hope others say about her?
Step 4: Set some goals
Now that things are getting a little more clear, it’s time to set some realistic goals. I recommend SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound. Before you get overwhelmed with this step, start small. Pick the one area from your audit that needs the most attention. You don’t need to change everything all at once. You have time. You’ll also find that when you start small, and do one thing at a time, motivation will build, and it will be easier to keep moving forward.
Bottom Line: Mid-life is not a ‘crisis’, it’s a time to re-invent yourself with the wisdom and experience of the past 40+ years in your back pocket. We’re actually not meant to stay the same in life. God created us to grow and learn and change and mature. Instead of looking at mid-life as a season to dread, we should look at it with fresh perspective and excitement for what lies ahead! How many of us say things like “Man, if I could go back to 20, I’d do things differently.” Well, good news, you can (sort of)!
Maybe you can’t be 20 again, but you can decide to make changes. You can get educated in something new, and pursue a new career. You can focus on your marriage, and spice things up with a new dating routine to get to know one another again. The truth is, you’re not the same as you were before kids, jobs, mortgages, aging parents, and everything else that life brings.
You may not be able to change everything in your life, but you can control the controllables…your schedule, your commitments, and your thought life.
It’s a new season to be explored and enjoyed. Will you embrace mid-life for the beautiful thing that it can be, or will you enter in to it with dread and misery? The choice is yours, my friend. Choose wisely.
P.S. I created a short workbook to help you conduct your own mid-life audit. You can get the link to download it here…